Everyone loves movies and so they should, whats not to love? Well ok some can suck...a lot! But that's ok, that's why we have alcohol! The wonders of such a glorious substance can make even the worst movie into an enjoyable experience. Today I give you my Top 5 drinking games for bad movies.
5. Dude Where's my car?
The Film: Back in 2000 when this movie came out I was just a little teenager and loved it, now I couldn't imagine watching those same obvious immature dick jokes in any other state than too drunk to stand - like a proper adult.
The Rules: This game is best played with any large amount of beer rather than spirits, unless you're feeling very brave of course. It also works very well as a last man standing game.
- Take a drink: Any time the word "Dude" is said
- Chug for two seconds: Whenever the word "Shibby" is said
- Double up on the chugging: Any time either word is said by more than one character at the same time
4. Green Lantern
The film: 2011 was a big year for comic book movies. The big hitters were of course the amazing Captain America: The First Avenger, Thor and X-Men: First Class. DC's attempt at a big budget rival to Marvel took the form of Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds; and it bombed!
The Rules: This is a simple one. Just drink when:
- Someone says "Fear"
- Someone says "Afraid"
- Hammond reads someone's mind
- The CGI becomes horrendously obvious
3. Dirty Dancing
The Film: Some of you may actually like this film, personally after being forced to watch it one too many times I would now rather be cooked alive by angry fans of this very film than watch it again...sober at least.
The Rules: Drink whenever:
Thankfully this one should have you passed out pretty quickly.
The Film: Some of you may actually like this film, personally after being forced to watch it one too many times I would now rather be cooked alive by angry fans of this very film than watch it again...sober at least.
The Rules: Drink whenever:
- Baby makes an intelligent and/or feminist comment
- Lisa comments on accessories or make up
- You see a dancer exposing thigh
- Baby is dancing by herself or badly
Thankfully this one should have you passed out pretty quickly.
2. Twilight
The Film: The success of this movie and the overall film franchise makes me loose faith in humanity. In response to the totality of the SUCK of this film, this drinking game is designed for you to be as drunk as possible, as quickly as possible.
The Rules: Take a drink whenever:
- Edward and Bella stare silently at each other
- Bella touches her hair
- Bella stammers
- Jasper looks like Edward Scissorhands
- Bella bites her lip
- James cocks his head to one side
- Mike refers to Bella as ‘Arizona’
- Bella trips – take TWO drinks if Edward catches her
- Any vampire hisses like a cat
- Someone says the word ‘monkey’
- Edward does something creepy or possessive and Bella finds it romantic
And finally, Chug whenever a Vampire Sparkles and keep going until that son of a bitch stops.
1. The Room
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| You're Tearing me apart Lisa |
The Film: Well this may actually be the most unwatchable movie to have ever been made. Tommy Wiseau (pictured above in all his glory) has to be the strangest man to ever hit the big screen. This monstrosity failed in every respect and I'm not even sure a fantastic drinking game is enough to make it possible to watch. If you're unaware of this movie check this out.
The Rules: I suggest picking your favorite and strongest drink for this one.
Drink whenever:
- You see stock footage of the Golden Gate Bridge
- Anyone mentions that Mark is Johnny's best friend (Including Mark)
- Someone says "Don't worry about it"
- You're unfortunate enough to see Lisa's boobs
- There is an American Football in the scene
- Lisa says "I don't love Tommy"
- When Mark is surprised to be having sex
And just in case that isn't enough also drink whenever you're not sure what is happening in any given scene.
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